New Year Resolutions.

I believe that every month has a theme. July has independence, December has Christmas and of course January is the month of resolutions. The month to decide how you will make 2016 a better year. I've been thinking a lot about what I want to change about this year and I think I finally hit on it. I want to stop always looking ahead to events and appreciate the small moments we are in today. I've realized that too often I begin to countdown to Friday, or the end of the school day or sometimes even until bed and when I do this, I miss out on the moment we are in. I've decided to  start appreciating the good times, but also the frustrating times for what they are.

1. I'm going to appreciate the tears and frustrations of my students because I understand that they trust me enough to help them with their problems and they feel free to be vulnerable in front of me. 

2. I'm going to appreciate parent concerns  because I understand that means that they love their children and care so much about them that they will fight for them. 

3. I'm going to appreciate disagreements with friends because it means that those relationships are strong enough that we don't need to rely on always try to please the other person.

4. I'm going to appreciate feeling physically and mentally exhausted because it will mean I accomplished something that day.

5. I'm going to appreciate making mistakes and failing because it means that I tried something new and different.

6. I'm going to appreciate my students messing up, making wrong choices because it will give me the opportunity to teach them a lesson about life and that we aren't perfect.

7. I'm going to appreciate the dirty dishes in the sink because it means that we have food to eat and the opportunity to eat together.

8. I'm going to appreciate waking up before the sun because it means I have someplace to be and that my day has a purpose

9.  I'm going to appreciate long walks to the grocery store because it will give me a chance to be outside and enjoy the beautiful landscape

10. Most of all I'm going to appreciate the moments when I feel that I'm not good enough or strong enough or capable of the task at hand because it will humble me and remind me of my continued dependence on God.

Not Quite Deja Vu

Coming to Jarabacoa again from the United States brings back memories of my first journey here in August. It was the same and yet everything was so different and I am so thankful for that. The first time I arrived...I was terrified. I was nervous about going through customs, finding my luggage and of course getting picked up by complete strangers. I was nervous about attempting to talk Spanish and not being able to see my family for four months in a row.

I remember entering the house and being overwhelmed at times by homesickness. I remember one day in particular, sitting down on the floor in my room, tears rolling down my cheeks and saying. "God I cannot do this on my own strength.  I'm alone except for you. You have to help me, because you're all I got right now." I love and appreciate that moment because it made me not only aware of my own weaknesses, but also of God's presence. I don't feel that homesickness anymore. God not only gave me strength but also friends like family here and a love for this country.

Coming to Jarabacoa a few days ago was a lot different than my arrival in August. I was eager to see friends and recollect the piece of my heart I had left here. Walking around the city, it was nice to be back in the warm culture.  Seeing the familiar faces of my friends and being able to hug my little students made me so happy and feel like I got back something I didn't know I was missing.

There is no longer that ache in my heart because even though I love and miss my family dearly, I'm home here too and that is the greatest gift I could ever receive.

"And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." -Matthew 28:20