I think one of the things I'm most thankful for here is that I still have the opportunity to teach. Honestly, I'm sitting here trying to imagine what else I could be doing and it scares me a little bit. I think that I'd lose a bit of myself if I wasn't teaching. Don't get me wrong, the students have definitely tested my patience and the class has practiced "silence" many times, but at the end of the day, there is no job I'd rather have.
I think that the hardest thing about teaching is that you have to be vulnerable You have to be willing to get up each morning being prepared to pour all your energy, all your patience, all your love and all of your knowledge into the students and you have to stand up in front of the students knowing that sometimes everything you have won't be enough. There are days where I don't have the patience to answer the 20th question on the homework assignment, talk to the frustrated parent or deal with the crying kid, the kid who bullied him and maintain the class at the same time. \
I remember the first time, I realized I didn't have it altogether and a little panic set in, but then I remembered that I don't have to have it altogether and when I fall, I've got a God who says "I've got this, give all you've got and don't be afraid, because I will refill you." I love those moments, because I'm reminded of God's presence because I can tell you if it were me, I'd be crying at my desk or running around the room screaming. There are times when I cry out, "I've got nothing." and God answers, "But I've got something."
I also think teaching students, teaches me a lot about my relationship with God, while actually more about my own stupidity when I approach God is similar to how some of the students approach me. I am very humbled when I see students who try to be really sneaky thinking that I won't see what they are doing. They think if they are low to the ground or scoot across the floor I won't see them. Sometimes I think God must laugh at us like I laugh at my students' attempts to hide from me.
Also, occasionally my students don't trust my directions and try to do it their way and then they fail miserably and get even more confused. An exasperated me tries to untie all their mistakes, but then I've reminded of all the times I've tried to do the same thing with God and well it has turned out the exact same way.
I love teaching though with all my heart and I live for those moments when the student finally realizes that he can do it. I love seeing his face slowly change when he solved the problem that had been giving him trouble and actually I think I screamed for joy out loud yesterday when the student I tutored finally mastered a concept we had been working on for a while. Yes, he jumped a little bit, but if I can scream for my sports team, I'm definitely screaming for my student. He approached me today for the first time for a hug and it is moments like that which make it all worth it to get up the next day and do it all over again.
So, I guess what I want to say almost two months into the Dominican Republic is I love being in a new environment and meeting new people, seeing new places and trying new adventures, but I'm also thankful that my job stayed the same and I get to keep that part of me that is more comfortable dancing to Silly Songs with Larry with 9 year olds than surrounded by people my own age at a party. I thank God each day for those 15 little bodies who drive me up a wall, but who I wouldn't trade for the world.
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